Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
