This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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