it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
