what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
