I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Boobs speak an international language.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
