Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
