Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
