ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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