a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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