He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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