No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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