Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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