She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
