I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
