whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
