I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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