You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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