i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
