I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
