Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
