I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
