She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I love you.
Bad choice
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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