tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
