I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
