She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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