Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
