If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
