I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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