In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
