yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
