I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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