that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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