I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
