one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
