wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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