So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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