If that was your dad, he is hot
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
