11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
