i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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