I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
