You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
