I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
