I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize