Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
