his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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