She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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