If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
