sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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