Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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