(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
